Opinion - Stephanie Coontz: Too close for comfort - sacbee.com
OLYMPIA, Wash. -- Ever since the Census Bureau released figures last
month showing that married-couple households are now a minority, my
phone has been ringing off the hook with calls from people asking: "How
can we save marriage? How can we make Americans understand that
marriage is the most significant emotional connection they will ever
make, the one place to find social support and personal fulfillment?"
I think these are the wrong questions -- indeed, such questions would
have been almost unimaginable through most of history. It has only been
in the last century that Americans have put all their emotional eggs in
the basket of coupled love. Because of this change, many of us have
found joys in marriage our great-great-grandparents never did. But we
have also neglected our other relationships, placing too many burdens
on a fragile institution and making social life poorer in the process.
A study released this year showed just how dependent we've become on
marriage. Three sociologists at the University of Arizona and Duke
University found that from 1985 to 2004 Americans reported a marked
decline in the number of people with whom they discussed meaningful
matters. People reported fewer close relationships with co-workers,
extended family members, neighbors and friends. The only close
relationship where more people said they discussed important matters in
2004 than in 1985 was marriage.
